at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
They have beer where we have blood.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
