2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
