dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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