thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
