is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
