I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
