you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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