yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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