but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize