That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
