If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize