3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just gift wrapped bread.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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