he wants to bone in the snuggie
Welp...herpes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
