and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
