Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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