im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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