if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
