if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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