Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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