Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
