KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
