the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
