So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
