So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
one two three fourrrrnication!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
