fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
