Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
