Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
