There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
