He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
