Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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