Please, let me fuck your mom
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
