like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
