Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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