john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
