I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
