I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
