Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
