Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
