that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
