Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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