stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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