I hate all girls vehemently.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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