Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
are you so shy because you have an std?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
