fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
