He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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