You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
