Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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