Plan B is the new Plan A
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
