Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
