I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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