If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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