I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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