I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
