You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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