I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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