I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
