you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
